lobsterbox | time stop

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time stop

Mithos kept his eyes forward as the Rheaird sped over Gaoracchia Forest. He was situated behind Genis, who was piloting the single craft, and somewhere behind them...was Lloyd, who had trailed them on their entire trip to the Fooji Mountains. Naturally, Mithos had sensed him. He wasn't certain if Genis had figured it out, but he supposed it had worked out in a way—he hadn't needed to use any of his own powers to help them ascend the mountain, and so they had obtained the Fandalia flowers without arousing any suspicion.

And Genis had agreed to stand by him, anyway. It was only natural. Lloyd may have accepted him for now, but he was still only human. He was still different.

Well, once his Age of Lifeless Beings was realized, they would all be the same. But for now...Mithos was already the same as Genis, and half-elves could only exist amongst each other.

"There's the house," he piped up over Genis' shoulder, his gentle voice betraying none of his sinister thoughts. Sure enough, they were almost directly upon the rock face where Altessa lived, and Genis brought the Rheaird into a quick descent, so that they soon landed in front of the dwarf's home. Surprisingly, all but Lloyd's Rheaird were now there—meaning the others had returned earlier than he expected. Mithos' angelic senses easily picked up words from inside the house, but...they caused him to narrow his eyes.

"Lloyd was supposed to be-"

"I can't believe this..."

"What are we going to tell the kid?"

Mithos held tight to the flowers they had gathered as they hopped off of the craft, and he gave Genis an encouraging smile tinged with worry. "Let's hurry in. Even if they found a doctor, they should still be able to use these flowers..."

He said that, but he was beginning to suspect that the doctor plan hadn't worked out in the least. Most likely, any high-profile doctor that the group thought of wouldn't waste their time treating a half-elf.

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A long time ago, he had brought hope to many--and the Desians and Cruxis still held onto that hope, even if many were slipping. Mithos had stopped caring, though, since with Martel's revival imminent, they wouldn't matter anymore anyway.

Even Raine's revival wouldn't require as dedicated a system; there was no need for Chosens or religions or anything like that.

While whether or not the Desians still held out hope didn't matter to him, he was pleased to see Genis' spirits lift a little.

"It's all for our sisters. Never forget that, all right?"

Was is friendly advice? A warning? Perhaps a bit of both.

Never forget that. Just saying that had Genis question if this all turned back around to Mithos's original doubts about his conviction. It was less to agree with what he said and more to remind Genis that he couldn't back down.

Even though Colette was his friend and had been his friend for almost as far as he could remember, he had no intention of betraying Mithos to save her. She couldn't be saved. If she could, Lloyd would be the one to do it with or without Genis's help.

...Turning a blind eye was something a human would do, but this was for Mithos's sister. There wasn't another way.

At all.

And he knew that Mithos didn't want to try to find an alternative. And without Mithos's support, it was unlikely he could actually do anything himself.

Genis nodded, the smile fading as soon as it appeared.

"I won't. We have to do everything we can for them."

He reminded himself.

Satisfied with the response, Mithos remained confident and reassuring. "Good. As long as you keep that conviction, we'll be able to revive them by working together."

Now that he had taken care of that, he finally got back on topic to the questions Genis had asked them earlier, speaking as they stepped out of the elevator back on the main floor. "To grow, you know that the Exspheres need to have a host to feed on, and the feeding can only be stimulated by strong emotions."

He looked over to Genis again to ensure that he understood. "So in order to revive our sisters, it must be done."

Yeah, he had to focus on their main goal here. It was all for their sisters, and they couldn't waver or think of anything else.

It was just hard. He could still remember how Marble and all the other people at the ranch suffered to make Exspheres before.

And he wasn't naïve enough to think that the Exspheres could be stimulated positive emotions, or all of that pain wouldn't have been necessary. For all Mithos's confidence and reassurance, Genis felt more grim than ever. Giving up isn't hard, but no longer caring was.

"...I just hope it doesn't take too long..." he answered quietly, following alongside Mithos. "I just really hope Raine understands, too..." He paused, tilting his head to try to catch his friend's eye. "Will I be able to see Raine after her Exsphere is attached to someone else?"

And Marble, for that matter.

It had to be negative emotions - pain, suffering, despair. They were much easier to stimulate en masse than positive emotions, after all, and while Mithos was patient, he still preferred that his goals were completed within a reasonable timeframe.

So he could easily reassure Genis, "We'll find the best way to revive her as quickly as possible, and you can still see her almost anytime. We'll be keeping the hosts under observation, so I'll show you where later."

Hosts weren't normally kept under such close scrutiny, but this was different. This wasn't just the cultivation of any Exsphere to add to their stock.

...He felt a little better hearing that.

"Okay."

And that was all he could say. There was still more and more weighing on his mind. Realizing he couldn't do anything and he had to stop trying should have taken weight off his shoulders, not added it.

I can't save anyone.

That was probably why...

Maybe he shouldn't have started this to begin with. He was just causing more problems. Raine wouldn't want this. Even if she understands why he chose to go through with this, she wouldn't want it. But...

"...What's Martel like?"

He gave Genis an encouraging smile. It looked like it was still going to take time, but he didn't mind. He still believed that Genis would stand by him; he still probably just needed to process everything that had happened.

A few results in the right direction would probably help ease his worries, too, but--well, it wouldn't be too much longer until then.

His smile faded at the question, replaced by a thoughtful expression as he turned his head to face forward again. "Martel is...everything to me. She's always been there for me, always kind and gentle whenever I was hurt or frustrated..."

As far as Mithos was concerned, that was a sufficient answer. His smile returned. "Soon, you'll get to see her, too."

He guessed...that wasn't unlike what he'd say about Raine. Maybe that was why Mithos had continued to be so confident that Raine would be happy with him even after he's done so many horrible things. Raine would never hate him; she was everything to him.

But Raine was a lot more than that. She was smart and strong and determined, and even though she could be tough, it was always obvious that she cared - about him and all their friends.

Mithos had to remember even big details like that, too, right?

Genis nodded slowly, not smiling or really satisfied with his answer, either.

"Ah, right..."

He looked down to his feet as they shuffled alongside Mithos. Would Martel want to be worshiped and not care about who died for her? Even though she was Mithos's sister, it was hard to imagine someone being okay with this.

"I look forward to meeting her, too. She sounds sort of like Raine..." In the most basic, sisterly sense.

But Mithos looked sort of happy about just thinking of seeing her again. Maybe, as long as they were together, things would be okay in the end.

"You think so?" Mithos wondered. Personality-wise, they were different, but...it was true that they had their similarities, too.

Nobody else was as important to either of them.

Mithos laughed a bit. "I guess you're right... I hadn't really thought about it before, to be honest." He was glad, though--glad that Genis had kept his promise and come to Derris-Kharlan with him. And not just Genis--one day, Raine would be able to rejoin them as well.

When the corridor they walked intersected another, Mithos came to a stop and turned to face Genis. "How are you feeling? Better now?" he asked, searching Genis' face.

"How am I feeling?"

Genis blinked, staring back at Mithos like that was the least expected question possible.

No, he was feeling worse and worse. He was turning his back on everything and everyone, even his sister.

But Mithos looked so happy - genuinely happy. Maybe he's just lonely... He would always be there for Mithos, but there was no replacements for people that were important. He couldn't make him as happy as Martel would.

Maybe once Martel is back and he can talk to her again, things might be like they were before Raine died. They could just be normal friends again. This could be over.

...Nowadays, things felt lonely for him, too.

Genis shook his head to dismiss the question. "I'm okay. I'm not tired or anything." Everything else, well... It didn't feel like he could talk about it now. "You're not planning to leave again, are you?"

He just nodded when Genis repeated the question, patiently waiting for his answer--and it was an answer that met his satisfaction. He grinned brightly.

"No, now that you have your strength up," Mithos started and paused for dramatic effect--teasing--before he finished, "it's time for that present I promised."

Time to give Genis a Cruxis Crystal.

...Well, he sounded like he did before, but things were still all wrong. He wished he could smile back at Mithos when he said that, or laugh, or do anything they used to do. But he didn't have it in him. He wasn't himself. Mithos wasn't himself.

"My-" he cut himself off, eyes going wide as he remembered what present Mithos had prepared for him. He stumbled forward close to him. "R-really? Right now?"

The thought of losing his soul still filled him with dread, but did he even have much left to lose? He was already giving in.

...No way, he couldn't. That was just make things even worse for Raine.

"Of course right now." Mithos frowned, puzzled. He'd expected a bit of surprise, but after that...

"What's wrong? Aren't you excited?"

He could have everything he ever wanted! Strength, eternity, his sister, friends, no more suffering... Why hesitate over that?

*friend, mithos. one friend.

Genis's face fell further, a pained look coming to his eyes.

"It's not that... I'm just a little scared..." he answered uncertainly. "When I think about not being able to feel anything anymore, I- I get worried. And I'm worried about you, too."

Quality over quantity, Genis. One friend was all he needed if that friend was Mithos...right?

His mouth curved into a sympathetic smile. So that was all it was. "You don't need to be scared--look, I'm fine. You can see for yourself."

And he did something he hadn't yet done in front of Genis--he concentrated, holdings his hands palm-upwards as the glow of angelic power enveloped him and revealed his shimmering angel wings.

He allowed Genis to see his angelic form without the guise of his adult body.

And he smiled. "Take a look! I can use my powers in this form, too. See? Everything's all right." He even did a little spin, toes barely brushing the ground as he let his wings carry him.

Genis seemed to have reached that conclusion. One friend who would understand him and be with him forever...

Seeing Mithos's wings emerge, Genis stared, eye transfixed on Mithos's form as he spun around. It was really amazing to see Mithos's power... Genis's fears didn't go away, but maybe what Mithos was saying was he didn't need to change or lose anything. Mithos was always the same even though he was an angel.

He didn't even look like Yggdrasill at the moment. He looked really pretty, and...he really reminded him of Colette when she first gained her wings. He was all warm smiles and excitement, his wings glimmering.

Genis sniffed, rubbing his eyes on the back of his hand.

"So you haven't lost anything?" He reached forward to take hold of his hand. "You can still feel everything?"

Forever and ever and ever...

He was fully aware that he had Genis' attention--just as he wanted--a satisfied smirk flashing across his face. He didn't mind that Genis was still hesitant--he just needed a little reassurance; that was all.

Mithos ceased moving once Genis took his hand, and he confidently looked Genis in the eye. "Of course. It's not like we're vessels for someone else, so our souls don't need to be removed."

His free hand moved to grip their joined ones. "Believe in me, Genis."

Just like he always wanted...

Genis's heart twisted in his chest, the corners of his mouth twitching as the full meaning of Mithos's words hit him.

He wasn't really like Colette at all. The two of them were completely different.

His eyes stayed on Mithos's, but his words were caught in his throat. It was getting harder and harder to believe in him even if he doubted that he was lying to him. He wanted to believe in him, though. He really wanted everything to be okay.

That was why he had come this far. It wasn't that he never had another choice. So...

"I do believe in you, Mithos," he replied as he gently squeezed his friend's hand. "We're best friends, right? I just didn't want anything to change..."

And someday they could go back to how they were. As angels or otherwise. There were just some things that had to be sacrificed along the way.

Such a happy time-!

Didn't want anything to change...

"Is that what you're afraid of?" He wasn't accusatory--merely searching, trying to help Genis overcome his hesitation. So he smiled gently. "It's all right... I understand how scary it is."

He held Genis' hand firmly in encouragement. "But aren't there some things that you've wanted to change, too? Were you really happy with the life you and Raine were leading?"

The obvious answer--in Mithos' mind--was, of course, no. Half-elves couldn't be happy just trying to get by in a world where nobody wanted them.

When Mithos smiled and held his hand, it was so easy to open up to him and forget how he had shut him down before. It really felt like he was listening and he cared - like there was a little bit of hope to reach him. Genis brought his other hand up to carefully hold Mithos's, eyes looking back at his friend's without any fear.

Was he really happy?

He knew the answer Mithos must have wanted, and it was true there were a lot of things he would change, but even looking back on the bad times left him feeling nostalgic. Even when most people hated them, their friends were always there beside them. Helping them, working beside them...

So he nodded.

"Yeah... I was really happy then." His fingers tightened around his hands. "There were times that were hard, but we weren't alone. We got through them, and...I was so happy. I liked traveling with everyone, and I liked playing with you, too. When we were all together, it was a lot of fun."

Before Raine died, before he knew Zelos was a traitor, before Mithos was their enemy, before he accepted that Colette had to die. His gaze fell away.

"I know things can't be the same anymore, but...I really liked how things were before."

As Genis started to reply, his smile weakened. He was happy? No, he had to be deluding himself, even now... Of course. Of course. He still couldn't admit it.

Mithos' thoughts were whispers of denial--but then they were silence. Genis continued talking, and Mithos realized then that he had been too quick to jump to conclusions. His friendly expression returned, and he nodded.

"Yes...I know. I was happy to spend time with you too, Genis. I promise that's not going to change--none of that has to change for real. After all, we'll bring Raine back someday. And," he held Genis' hand tighter still, "if you really still want to travel, we can do that too! Raine likes ruins, right? I'm sure there will be even more by the time she's revived! She'd really like that, don't you think?"

Maybe Martel would like to travel again, too... The four of them could all go together! Like when he travelled so long ago, only this time, they would have no worries...no misguided responsibilities for the world.

He really wasn't going to see his friends again, and he knew it. He didn't even try lying to himself to say otherwise. If he ever did see them again, it wouldn't be as friends.

So it was better to just never see each other again. All he could really ask for was Mithos staying beside him, continuing to be his friend forever, just like they promised.

The future didn't feel as bright as it did a month ago, though. His eyes grew wider as the reality Mithos was promising clicked into place. A world deprived of mana, lying in ruin, with just the four of them living as angels. The entire world would be ruins filled with monsters by the time Raine was revived. The world couldn't survive for long without mana, and Martel couldn't be revived if the Great Seed was germinated. Between the world and Martel, Genis knew what Mithos would choose.

Raine would hate it. No-one would want to see ruins that were created like that. No-one wanted to see the world they knew destroyed. And that wouldn't be a world Genis would want to explore, either.

He was quick to shake his head - partially to say no, partially to get the thoughts out of his head. Maybe he was being too pessimistic. Mithos didn't say the entire world would die. He might have something else planned. Genis parted his lips, but he didn't even know what to say or to believe.

But he had to believe in Mithos, or...

"I...I'd like to travel with you again, at least," he managed, his eyes still a little misty. "But..."

He nodded enthusiastically. They would travel together! They could witness the destruction of humanity--its slow, agonizing death as everything withered and dried up--while they alone lived forever. That was right.

"But what?"

He leaned in a bit closer. "Is something else bothering you? Or do you want to wait for Raine's revival until we travel?"

He wanted to turn back. He wanted Mithos to be the same again. The deeper he buried himself in denial, the worst he felt, but reality was so much worse.

"No," he started quickly, shaking his head again. He lifted his eyes to look at Mithos as he leaned closer. "No, I want to travel with you now. But...I...I'm worried what the world will look like by the time Raine is back. How will it be able to live without a source of mana?"

Mithos almost could've laughed. How would the world live?

It was simple.

It wouldn't.

His friendly smile sharpened into a faint smirk.

"Does it really matter to you that much?" he asked idly. "Do you really care what happens to a world that never cared about people like us?"

In a brighter tone, he added, "Besides, anyone you knew will be long dead by then."

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