lobsterbox | time stop

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time stop

Mithos kept his eyes forward as the Rheaird sped over Gaoracchia Forest. He was situated behind Genis, who was piloting the single craft, and somewhere behind them...was Lloyd, who had trailed them on their entire trip to the Fooji Mountains. Naturally, Mithos had sensed him. He wasn't certain if Genis had figured it out, but he supposed it had worked out in a way—he hadn't needed to use any of his own powers to help them ascend the mountain, and so they had obtained the Fandalia flowers without arousing any suspicion.

And Genis had agreed to stand by him, anyway. It was only natural. Lloyd may have accepted him for now, but he was still only human. He was still different.

Well, once his Age of Lifeless Beings was realized, they would all be the same. But for now...Mithos was already the same as Genis, and half-elves could only exist amongst each other.

"There's the house," he piped up over Genis' shoulder, his gentle voice betraying none of his sinister thoughts. Sure enough, they were almost directly upon the rock face where Altessa lived, and Genis brought the Rheaird into a quick descent, so that they soon landed in front of the dwarf's home. Surprisingly, all but Lloyd's Rheaird were now there—meaning the others had returned earlier than he expected. Mithos' angelic senses easily picked up words from inside the house, but...they caused him to narrow his eyes.

"Lloyd was supposed to be-"

"I can't believe this..."

"What are we going to tell the kid?"

Mithos held tight to the flowers they had gathered as they hopped off of the craft, and he gave Genis an encouraging smile tinged with worry. "Let's hurry in. Even if they found a doctor, they should still be able to use these flowers..."

He said that, but he was beginning to suspect that the doctor plan hadn't worked out in the least. Most likely, any high-profile doctor that the group thought of wouldn't waste their time treating a half-elf.

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*friend, mithos. one friend.

Genis's face fell further, a pained look coming to his eyes.

"It's not that... I'm just a little scared..." he answered uncertainly. "When I think about not being able to feel anything anymore, I- I get worried. And I'm worried about you, too."

Quality over quantity, Genis. One friend was all he needed if that friend was Mithos...right?

His mouth curved into a sympathetic smile. So that was all it was. "You don't need to be scared--look, I'm fine. You can see for yourself."

And he did something he hadn't yet done in front of Genis--he concentrated, holdings his hands palm-upwards as the glow of angelic power enveloped him and revealed his shimmering angel wings.

He allowed Genis to see his angelic form without the guise of his adult body.

And he smiled. "Take a look! I can use my powers in this form, too. See? Everything's all right." He even did a little spin, toes barely brushing the ground as he let his wings carry him.

Genis seemed to have reached that conclusion. One friend who would understand him and be with him forever...

Seeing Mithos's wings emerge, Genis stared, eye transfixed on Mithos's form as he spun around. It was really amazing to see Mithos's power... Genis's fears didn't go away, but maybe what Mithos was saying was he didn't need to change or lose anything. Mithos was always the same even though he was an angel.

He didn't even look like Yggdrasill at the moment. He looked really pretty, and...he really reminded him of Colette when she first gained her wings. He was all warm smiles and excitement, his wings glimmering.

Genis sniffed, rubbing his eyes on the back of his hand.

"So you haven't lost anything?" He reached forward to take hold of his hand. "You can still feel everything?"

Forever and ever and ever...

He was fully aware that he had Genis' attention--just as he wanted--a satisfied smirk flashing across his face. He didn't mind that Genis was still hesitant--he just needed a little reassurance; that was all.

Mithos ceased moving once Genis took his hand, and he confidently looked Genis in the eye. "Of course. It's not like we're vessels for someone else, so our souls don't need to be removed."

His free hand moved to grip their joined ones. "Believe in me, Genis."

Just like he always wanted...

Genis's heart twisted in his chest, the corners of his mouth twitching as the full meaning of Mithos's words hit him.

He wasn't really like Colette at all. The two of them were completely different.

His eyes stayed on Mithos's, but his words were caught in his throat. It was getting harder and harder to believe in him even if he doubted that he was lying to him. He wanted to believe in him, though. He really wanted everything to be okay.

That was why he had come this far. It wasn't that he never had another choice. So...

"I do believe in you, Mithos," he replied as he gently squeezed his friend's hand. "We're best friends, right? I just didn't want anything to change..."

And someday they could go back to how they were. As angels or otherwise. There were just some things that had to be sacrificed along the way.

Such a happy time-!

Didn't want anything to change...

"Is that what you're afraid of?" He wasn't accusatory--merely searching, trying to help Genis overcome his hesitation. So he smiled gently. "It's all right... I understand how scary it is."

He held Genis' hand firmly in encouragement. "But aren't there some things that you've wanted to change, too? Were you really happy with the life you and Raine were leading?"

The obvious answer--in Mithos' mind--was, of course, no. Half-elves couldn't be happy just trying to get by in a world where nobody wanted them.

When Mithos smiled and held his hand, it was so easy to open up to him and forget how he had shut him down before. It really felt like he was listening and he cared - like there was a little bit of hope to reach him. Genis brought his other hand up to carefully hold Mithos's, eyes looking back at his friend's without any fear.

Was he really happy?

He knew the answer Mithos must have wanted, and it was true there were a lot of things he would change, but even looking back on the bad times left him feeling nostalgic. Even when most people hated them, their friends were always there beside them. Helping them, working beside them...

So he nodded.

"Yeah... I was really happy then." His fingers tightened around his hands. "There were times that were hard, but we weren't alone. We got through them, and...I was so happy. I liked traveling with everyone, and I liked playing with you, too. When we were all together, it was a lot of fun."

Before Raine died, before he knew Zelos was a traitor, before Mithos was their enemy, before he accepted that Colette had to die. His gaze fell away.

"I know things can't be the same anymore, but...I really liked how things were before."

As Genis started to reply, his smile weakened. He was happy? No, he had to be deluding himself, even now... Of course. Of course. He still couldn't admit it.

Mithos' thoughts were whispers of denial--but then they were silence. Genis continued talking, and Mithos realized then that he had been too quick to jump to conclusions. His friendly expression returned, and he nodded.

"Yes...I know. I was happy to spend time with you too, Genis. I promise that's not going to change--none of that has to change for real. After all, we'll bring Raine back someday. And," he held Genis' hand tighter still, "if you really still want to travel, we can do that too! Raine likes ruins, right? I'm sure there will be even more by the time she's revived! She'd really like that, don't you think?"

Maybe Martel would like to travel again, too... The four of them could all go together! Like when he travelled so long ago, only this time, they would have no worries...no misguided responsibilities for the world.

He really wasn't going to see his friends again, and he knew it. He didn't even try lying to himself to say otherwise. If he ever did see them again, it wouldn't be as friends.

So it was better to just never see each other again. All he could really ask for was Mithos staying beside him, continuing to be his friend forever, just like they promised.

The future didn't feel as bright as it did a month ago, though. His eyes grew wider as the reality Mithos was promising clicked into place. A world deprived of mana, lying in ruin, with just the four of them living as angels. The entire world would be ruins filled with monsters by the time Raine was revived. The world couldn't survive for long without mana, and Martel couldn't be revived if the Great Seed was germinated. Between the world and Martel, Genis knew what Mithos would choose.

Raine would hate it. No-one would want to see ruins that were created like that. No-one wanted to see the world they knew destroyed. And that wouldn't be a world Genis would want to explore, either.

He was quick to shake his head - partially to say no, partially to get the thoughts out of his head. Maybe he was being too pessimistic. Mithos didn't say the entire world would die. He might have something else planned. Genis parted his lips, but he didn't even know what to say or to believe.

But he had to believe in Mithos, or...

"I...I'd like to travel with you again, at least," he managed, his eyes still a little misty. "But..."

He nodded enthusiastically. They would travel together! They could witness the destruction of humanity--its slow, agonizing death as everything withered and dried up--while they alone lived forever. That was right.

"But what?"

He leaned in a bit closer. "Is something else bothering you? Or do you want to wait for Raine's revival until we travel?"

He wanted to turn back. He wanted Mithos to be the same again. The deeper he buried himself in denial, the worst he felt, but reality was so much worse.

"No," he started quickly, shaking his head again. He lifted his eyes to look at Mithos as he leaned closer. "No, I want to travel with you now. But...I...I'm worried what the world will look like by the time Raine is back. How will it be able to live without a source of mana?"

Mithos almost could've laughed. How would the world live?

It was simple.

It wouldn't.

His friendly smile sharpened into a faint smirk.

"Does it really matter to you that much?" he asked idly. "Do you really care what happens to a world that never cared about people like us?"

In a brighter tone, he added, "Besides, anyone you knew will be long dead by then."

He could nearly hear the cruel amusement in Mithos's voice as he answered. Genis's brows knit together in concern, his hands gripping tightly to Mithos's.

"That doesn't mean the world should die! There are a lot of other people like us there, too."

And his friends, even if they might die long before the world fell to ruin, just as Mithos had said.

"It's still our world."

His grip on Genis' hands loosened, his expression fading into a neutral mask as he narrowed his eyes.

"No, it isn't."

His voice was low, carrying a trace of finality. There would be no changing his opinion.

"You'll need to realize that if you want to keep going."

Sacrificing Colette, torturing dozens of people for Raine's revival, and now letting the world die. The number of things he had to give up on was mounting to unbelievable heights. His lack of control was finally settling in his mind. If one of them was going to change, it wasn't going to be Mithos. And one of them had to change.

Genis felt his heart stop for a moment, but he didn't release Mithos's hands.

"What do you mean?"

Mithos gently shook his head before he met Genis' gaze seriously again.

"We promised to revive our sisters," he reminded. "Both of them." He paused, letting it sink in, before continuing, "You know about Martel and the Great Seed, don't you?"

He would sacrifice anything to revive Martel. If the price was the entire world, so be it.

And surely Genis understood that, too--or else he wouldn't be there, working together to bring back both of their sisters.

"Forget about that world, Genis. This-" one of his hands released Genis and he swept out a small arc (though it wasn't as impressive when they were inside the corridor) "-is the only world we need."

He did know. He knew Mithos would do anything for Martel, and at this rate, he was willing to do the same for Raine.

It left him with a hollow feeling, like there was nothing but ice water in his chest.

He knew better than to ask if there was a way to have both. If find another way to cultivate Exspheres was impossible, then saving the world was completely out of the question. It was all going to wither and die... Sylvarant and the Tethe'alla. His hands loosened but didn't fully release his friend's hand. He needed something to hold onto.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that Martel shouldn't be revived," he amended softly. After all, he didn't want Mithos to think that he didn't care about Martel. She was just as important to Mithos and Raine was to him. "I just thought that maybe there would be a way to save both of them..."

But there wasn't.

And there was more he wanted to say, but he couldn't let himself. It would all be too hopeful or too hopeless, and neither side felt right.

He knew Genis didn't mean to imply that they could sacrifice Martel--he knew how much she meant--so Mithos forgave it.

But Genis was still naive, still too optimistic...

He couldn't say he disliked those traits. However, Mithos knew it would only hurt them in the end to allow him to hope for a possibility that didn't--couldn't-- exist.

"You really care about them," he observed softly, almost melancholy as he rested his free hand at his side again. His voice hardened as he continued, though--to drive home the truth that Genis had to acknowledge. "But you need to stop, Genis. You chose what was important to you; now you need to sacrifice what's necessary."

He placed his hand on Genis' shoulder, gentler again. "I'm only telling you this for your own good. It's just not possible to save everyone."

So they had to choose what was most important to them, and it certainly wasn't the world that wouldn't help them.

Thay was where he and Lloyd were completely different. Lloyd would never think that it's impossible to save everyone. If he were here with them, he would probably try to find a way to save Martel and the world, too.

But Lloyd wasn't here, and Genis wasn't Lloyd either.

The reality was that Mithos was right. He was completely right - about the sacrifices, about his choice, and about his feelings. As Mithos's words sank in, Genis felt his face heating up and his eyes stinging again. Lloyd would never tell him to give up. But he couldn't lie to himself, either.

He hung his head.

"It's not that easy... I know it's impossible, but I... I don't want anyone else to die."

Mithos still kept a gentle, reassuring grip on his shoulder, an encouraging reminder that he was with him.

Because all Genis needed was encouragement that he was on the correct path. Mithos had known it from the beginning, but Genis was still having trouble accepting the changes to his worldview.

So, in the name of encouragement, Mithos gently responded, "Don't worry, Genis. It'll get easy once you acknowledge the truth--even if you don't want anyone else to die, you want Raine back even more, and we have the power to make it happen."

Power that allowed them to make as many sacrifices as they needed to.

That was to say, "Even if you don't want anyone to die, you'll still kill them for her sake."

It was a hard truth Genis didn't want to accept or acknowledge, and no matter how soft Mithos's voice was or how gently he held his shoulder, it felt like a knife driving into him. It was all wrong.

Did he really want Raine back at the cost of killing innocent people? More than ever, he had to question that. He tried to think of what Raine would think of all this, and...she'd be disappointed in him, wouldn't she?

Raine meant everything to him, but killing people for her wouldn't make her happy. It just made his heartless.

He tucked his chin against his chest as tears began to roll off his face.

"I," his voice broke, "Th-that's not true, Mithos. I want Raine back, but I can't do this. Raine wouldn't want this, either."

He blinked. Was he not getting through to Genis? His words, all his encouragement...

He lightly shook his head, still gentle in his response, if a bit pushier in trying to be persuasive.

"Come on, Genis... You know that's not true. She'd never want to leave you, not after you've been together for so long." He leaned in close as he spoke just above a whisper. "She understands, too--that you need to do whatever it takes to get what you want."

Raine had been pragmatic, calculating, intelligent that way--Mithos had admired it a little, deep down, how it had all allowed Genis to become who he was, too...

Right. It all made sense now--why Genis was so uncertain. "Raine... She knew how to prioritize, right? How you had to sacrifice some things in favour of others. She always made those decisions for you, didn't she?" He was gentle in his understanding, sympathetic. "I know it's hard to do it on your own, but you need to make those decisions in her place right now."

The tears never stopped.

Raine had a side of her that was cold, but it was always to make sure the two of them and their friends were safe. If it meant being alone or leaving someone else behind, she'd do it. Sometimes it took drastic measures.

She was always right, but he didn't like that side of her at all.

But without her there, he wondered if she would do all of this to bring him back. If she'd take drastic measures and sacrifice so many people for his sake.

His heart and head pounded as he took a shaking breath.

Even if she wouldn't want more people to die, would she do anything for him?

Raine would do anything to protect him. She wouldn't abandon him. When he thought of it like that, it was more selfish to consider letting her die forever when he could do something to save her.

He rubbed his eyes on the back of his free arm, hand squeezing Mithos's.

"Y-you're right. You're right. Raine could do this if she was here. She... She wouldn't leave me behind."

He finally lifted his head to look Mithos in the eye again. His face was a mess, but Mithos was trying so hard to be there for him. He really cared about the two of them.

"Thank you...for everything. I'm still not ready to do all of this, but...I know she wouldn't give up on me."

He smiled softly. Mithos understood, and he sympathized; he didn't blame Genis for feeling that way, but he'd help him to change, little by little.

"Right. And you'd do the same for her." Just like he and Martel. They were all the same, really.

He moved his hand from Genis' shoulder to his face, touching his cheek gently in encouragement. "I'm here for you every step of the way, Genis. Don't worry...I'll help you grow even stronger."

His voice grew in confidence, as he hoped that confidence would lift Genis' spirits. "One step at a time, all right? You don't have to rush anything." After all, they had all the time in the world...or they would, once Genis became an angel. But even that could wait a little longer until he was feeling better, now that Mithos understood his hesitation more deeply.

He wasn't nearly as confident, and he didn't know if he could do this, but Mithos was there for him. Would always be there for him, forever. Longer than either of them were meant to live. Forever.

His face grew hot as he sniffled and fought himself to stop crying. Just having Mithos be patient with him made him feel better. They didn't need to rush. Mithos wasn't going to force him to act faster. He'd become strong enough to save Raine.

(Only Raine and no-one else...but whether Genis saved her or not, the world and everyone else would die anyway. This way, at least he and Raine could still be together. ...It still didn't sit right with him. But Raine would do the same for him.)

His hand drifted up to carefully hold Mithos's. Genis tried to give him a smile through his tears, the corners of his lips twitching up. It was going to be okay.

"All right," he replied in a small, strained voice. "Mithos, thank you so much. I- I don't think I could do this without you..." His fingers pressed into his hand. In a lot of ways, he couldn't do this without him. Without him, Genis would have just accepted that Raine was dead, and eventually he'd be all alone.

But he didn't need to. "Like I said, I won't give up. We just need more time, right? Maybe...maybe it'll be okay someday."

It was all for Raine's sake. That was all that mattered.

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